Find yourself in this scenario
You are strolling along on the sidewalk in downtown Jackson, Mississippi, minding your own business and suddenly, out of nowhere, steps First Lady, Michelle Obama who doesn ’t see you and you collide with her causing an embarrassing moment. How would you handle this sticky-situation? (after the Secret Service men allow you to stand up.)
Would you quickly-apologize, keep your hands in the air, grovel, or stand ashamed as the First Lady tells you how clumsy you are?
There is a right and wrong way to react to faux pa’s
If you are like any normal person, you might initiate all four responses. I mean doing all four would not hurt at that most-humiliating moment. But who are we to point fingers? It is what it is and nothing less than a sophisticated time machine that would carry you back to the time before Michelle stepped out in front of you so you could simply stop and allow her to take the right-of-way.
But sadly, and very-depressing as it is, to date there are no time machines, or any that the federal government will let us common citizens know about, so we are just stuck dealing with embarrassing and awkward situations as best we can.
I am disabled and not able to work, so I have time for thinking. I think more now than at any time in my life. Sometimes my thinking pays dividends with sensible-ideas that will help my wife, grandkids, and church family, and sometimes my ideas only bring me scorn and laughter, not with me, but at me. And to make it worse, research has taught me that not many people actually love to be laughed at.
Don’t worry. There is hope for us
So I suppose, and this is not meant in the spirit of vengeance, that with the suggestions below, I have reached redemption of those ideas that brought me harvests of ridicule and humiliation. I know this is true, for all of these face-saving suggestions will work. But realistically-speaking, I pray that none of you ever have to use them.
So relax with a fresh cup of coffee and enjoy . . .
“Successfully Overcoming Embarrassment and Being Caught Out of Place”
(For guys who have a weakness for lust for women) If you are caught admiring a woman ’s pretty legs, instantly start picking with your hand as if a gnat or dust is in your eye—for if you start nervously-apologizing, this will make it worse for those around you and the woman will stop talking to hear what you are saying, so play it discreetly.
If you make a social faux pa such as misunderstanding the person who is introducing you to two females and you reply, “I know where ‘Julie, ’ gets her great looks,” which implies the woman next to ‘Julie ’ has to be her mom, but what bites your pride is that the woman is her sister. Just own your blunder and say, “I can say such asinine things at time, but this doesn ’t change the fact that both of you are so attractive,” things should be fine and you will not be rode “out of town on a rail.”
When some smart alec intentionally mispronounces your name (e.g.), “Hello, you must be ‘Benny. ’ I have heard a few things about you.” Do not show any fear or anger. Just smile and say, “Oh, if you mean televangelist, Benny Hinn, I am honored, but my name is Kenny. Just plain Kenny.” And act as if you were not insulted at all. This takes the power away from the smart alec.
When you are in high-society and introduced to a matronly-lady, do not “shake” her hand like you would an old Army buddy. “Think outside the box,” and kiss her hand as in the days that she will remember. By acting with old fashioned manners, you have made a friend in this lady for life.
You and your family are sitting in your church ’s worship service and without warning, you cough several times in row. Of course you cannot help this, but a few people, including your pastor, stares at you with a, “Did you just have to cough?” look on their faces, so instead of mumbling some form of apology, say in a mild tone, “Forgive me. I ask you to excuse me.” Then get to the men ’s room to regroup yourself. Sometimes walking away from a battle will make you a winner.
Nothing can be more discomforting than to accidentally-stumble into the wrong motel room, so when this happens to you, and the people who bought the room are inside, do not get upset or over-react. Just accept what you did and say this: “I am terribly sorry. I offer you my apologizes. Your room number is almost like mine. I hope I haven ’t ruined anything for you.” Unless the man and wife are engaged in love-making, then you are going to be okay.
Note: I have heard of men who were blessed with a quick-wit who “did” stumble into someone else ’s room and the couple were making love, but when the bumbling-guy who stumbled into the room realized he was not in the right place, just smiled and said, “You (speaking to the man) have great taste in women,” and then he left and nothing came of it.
Getting caught-up enjoying beautiful paintings in a lavish art museum, but forget when they close—leaving you inside is not a place you should want to be. When the museum curator mildly scolds you, “Sir, we are closed. I must ask you to leave,” just look enraptured with the paintings and reply, “My fault entirely, sir. These works are so captivating, how could anyone remember such a trivial thing as a closing time? And may I add that your museum has the “best” collection of paintings in the entire city.” Point. Match. Set.
Coming soon . . .”Signs That Show That You Are Too Nice”
P.S. A special thanks to fellow hubber and friend, The Dirt Farmer for helping with the name of the unnamed girl seen with Arliss Howard, who played Cowboy in Full Metal Jacket . . .that was Debra Winger. Thanks again. KENNETH
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